Who God Chooses

What if the unexpected is exactly how He works?

Love,

This morning I drove my mom to the ferry. She’s on her way to visit my grandma, and it was nice to have that drive to visit before she left. On the way, we started talking about church on Sunday. The boys and I were home sick, so we missed it, but she was telling me about some announcements related to the pastor leaving at the end of the year. Apparently, they’re sending out a survey asking what people hope for in the new pastor, and one of the questions was whether people would prefer someone single or married. I just thought...why does that even matter? It made me think how those kinds of surveys can sometimes set people up for disappointment, because no one’s ever going to check every box. What really matters is finding the person God chooses and sends. And He has such a beautiful way of using the unexpected.

Last night I read 1 Timothy 1, and it really tied into all of this. Paul talks about how God shows mercy and calls even those who seem least qualified to carry His message. But then near the end of the chapter, he mentions delivering certain people to Satan. It reminded me that even God’s discipline comes from a place of mercy. Sometimes He lets people experience the weight of their choices. It’s not to punish them, but to bring their hearts back to Him. It helped me see that no matter who He’s working through, God’s purpose is always to restore what’s been broken and draw hearts closer to Him. I think God cares less about perfection and more about a heart that’s willing to learn, grow, and be shaped by His truth and grace.

My mom also sent me a link about SNAP benefits expiring. Even though we technically qualify, we haven’t been able to access them because of the birth certificate situation. Still, God has been so faithful to provide for us in other ways. It actually felt like a confirmation, because a couple of weeks ago I started working on a video about how hunger is being used as a weapon in different parts of the world. So many people are going hungry. It’s sometimes because of natural disasters, but often because of war, governments blocking aid, broken systems, or just people going through hard seasons where they need help.

I’ve felt this burden to pray that God would move on people’s hearts to step in and help and that He’d show His power to those using hunger as a weapon. I’m praying He softens their hearts, opens their eyes, and brings true repentance. It’s something that feels so urgent to pray about right now. And it reminded me how important it is to strengthen our local communities. There’s a food bank at the church every Friday. I haven’t been yet, but I’m thinking about going this week to see how their process works.

I was doing laundry at my parents’ house this afternoon, and when I moved the clothes from the washer to the dryer, I noticed a marble sitting in the drum. It caught me off guard, because we don’t have any marbles in the bunkhouse. It must’ve been left behind by someone else.

The boys and I opened some scavenger hunt game cards today that my sister had given them. They’re beautifully made by a company called eeBoo, which I hadn’t heard of before. I ended up visiting their website and was so inspired by their story and the purpose behind what they do.

Before picking up our oldest from school, we stopped by the market to grab something quick. The moment we walked in, I was hit with the most amazing smell of Indian food, and it instantly made me crave samosas! It probably smelled extra good because I was fasting lol. I was honestly so surprised though, because I had no idea they even sold Indian food there. It’s never smelled like that before. It totally brought back memories of all the incredible Indian food in the Bay Area. And then as we were walking out, we ran into my dad in the parking lot, which was a fun and unexpected surprise.

Over the past few days, God has been highlighting Dubai to me, and it’s brought back a lot of memories. I remember how intense the spiritual atmosphere felt there. At the time, I didn’t fully understand what was happening. But looking back, I can see how things shifted the moment we landed in India. The abuse suddenly intensified and took on a whole new level. I sensed such a difference, and now I realize we were likely coming up against a different principality. Both India and the UAE carried this heavy spiritual atmosphere that was hard to put into words. It got to the point where I remember being at the Marquis in Dubai, this stunning, high-end place, but feeling so spiritually and physically attacked that I just wanted to get out. I just wanted to be somewhere safe.

Lately the boys have been wrestling and getting into little fights more than usual, which I’ve been trying to navigate. Our oldest has been a bit rough lately and seems to find it hilarious to sneak up and scare his little brother. Our youngest usually ends up running into the bathroom to hide, crying and calling for me, while our oldest waits outside with a mischievous grin. He sometimes even crouches down on all fours and pretends to be a snow leopard or something.

It actually reminded me of how our dogs, Tailee and Rusty, used to play. Tailee would hide and quietly watch him, waiting for just the right moment. Then as soon as Rusty wasn’t paying attention and just doing his own thing, she’d go for the attack. She could be surprisingly aggressive sometimes. It even got a little scary on a few occasions, so we learned to keep a close eye on her. I’ve honestly never met another golden retriever quite like her. But she was also incredibly smart, super observant, and a great watchdog.

Anyway, I’ve been working with our oldest on playing more gently. I’ve felt bad about it at times because I can sense myself getting irritated, and that’s not the attitude I want to have toward him. But he really does need to learn that when his younger brother says no, starts crying, or asks for space, it’s important to stop and respect that.

And I’ve also noticed that when I try to comfort our youngest, our oldest sometimes gets upset or feels left out (maybe even a little jealous), which can make him act out more. It’s like this cycle I’m trying to break. I’ve been doing my best to handle it with love and patience, but honestly most times I don’t feel like I’m doing a very good job.

Tonight I was out in the garage, where I usually work once the boys are asleep, just pacing and trying to clear my head. But some thoughts kept circling and started to really frustrate me. I think I just need to get them out. Thank you for giving me the space to share this.

I’m honestly feeling so frustrated with people who present themselves as more godly just because they’re always pleasant and avoid conflict. Over time I’ve realized those are sometimes the people you have to be most cautious with. It’s not because they’re bad, but because they often lack the courage to speak up when something hard needs to be said. They avoid the difficult conversations that actually bring clarity and unity, so you’re never quite sure where they really stand. And sadly, I’ve learned that kind of silence can lead to betrayal, even when it’s unintentional.

Another thing I’ve been thinking about is how God doesn’t care how many Bible verses we can quote or how often we show up to church. Atheists read the Bible. Muslims read the Bible. Even witches and warlocks go to church services. And Satan himself knows Scripture better than any of us ever will. What matters to God isn’t just knowing the Word, it’s living it.

And to live by the Word, we have to know it, and to truly live it out, we need to be part of community. But just reading the Bible or sitting in church every Sunday means nothing if our hearts aren’t surrendered. We have to humble ourselves, take a hard look in the mirror, and let God deal with the plank in our own eye before we start pointing out the speck in someone else’s.

Rebellion, as Scripture says, is the same as witchcraft. And it’s heartbreaking how often that kind of spiritual pride and division shows up within the Church. We’re meant to be on the same team, fighting for each other, not against each other. That’s why what Jeremiah Johnson said here really resonated with me.

I also listened to this interview with Sundar Selvaraj Sadhu, which I think you will find interesting. And I came across this Inside Out video I felt led to share.

We need each other to do this. None of us can carry out God’s mission alone. We need our combined talents, gifts, and callings. Can we please just come together, put aside our differences, and focus on what really matters?

We need to shift our perspective and start seeing with spiritual eyes. This goes beyond individual opinions or situations. It’s about a much greater purpose. What’s at stake is the future of the Church, our nation, and even the world. We need to work together to address the spiritual warfare at the highest levels.

I can see the beautiful things God has ahead for all of us. Don’t lose hope. God can still bring beauty from the ashes. The early church stood firm on the Rock, and we can do the same today. We were never meant to do this alone. We need each other. I need you.

The God who created the universe lives within us. We are unstoppable as long as we allow Him to move through us. That same power is available to everyone who believes. We just have to stay connected to the true source of power. Praise the Lord, and all glory to the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob!

With that said, I stand on the authority of Jesus Christ and declare that no weapon formed against my boys will prosper. Enough is enough. Satan, it’s time to let them go. If this continues, I sense the Lord giving a strong warning that anyone who willingly aligns themselves with darkness to oppose God’s children and His purposes is placing themselves outside His protection. When we choose rebellion over repentance, we invite destruction into our own lives. I don’t want that for anyone. Please, take this seriously and stop before it gets worse. There’s still time to repent and let God bring healing instead.

Grace, if someone is using your identity in any way, please have the courage to speak up and tell the truth. And if that’s not what’s happening, please have the courage to tell me that too. I genuinely don’t know what’s been going on. I’m here, isolated on this island, without communication from anyone. It’s like everyone’s avoiding me as if I’m the Grinch. But something doesn’t feel right, and I’m growing more concerned for everyone involved.

With love, Jeanie

P.S. How to Train Your Dragon keeps coming up recently. More thoughts on that later...

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” — Proverbs 3:5-6