Hi Love,
When we were with my family, there was a summer solstice parade, and all the kids dressed up as bees. It was absolutely adorable and so much fun. The costumes my sister made turned out perfectly! After we got home, I somehow fell down a rabbit hole researching bees…because you know how my curiosity works. But thankfully, I’m a woman of God and not a cat. So my curiosity might take me on some wild detours, but hey, at least it won’t kill me. Praise God!
You might already know some of this, but I thought I’d share what I learned, because I found it interesting. Apparently, in a beehive there’s the queen bee. And all the worker bees are female too. The males (called drones) are only there to mate, and then after they die. I had no idea. It honestly shocked me and made me sad. I couldn’t understand why God would design it that way. I was also reminded of how black widow spiders sometimes eat the males after mating. That’s wild, right?
It made me so grateful that we’re human, created in God’s image, with the ability to honor the covenant of family. But it’s also heartbreaking, because there are people who treat others like they’re just bodies — using men like sperm donors or women like wombs. That mindset is so far from what God intended.
While I was pondering all of this, it actually reminded me of this scene from one of my favorite movies, Legally Blonde. And it made me think of some questions: Where is the fatherly concern when someone lives a life filled with criminal activity and choices that endanger the people around him? And then after years of instability (patterns of harassment, intimidation, and abuse) they suddenly want to step into the role of a responsible parent? If we’re going to say biology is all it takes, then where do we draw the line? Does every man who shares DNA get a free pass into a child’s life, no matter the harm he’s caused? If a man’s reckless choices are overlooked simply because he’s the biological father, then should every felon who shares a chromosome with a child be granted unsupervised access? And then, what message are we sending to children? That fear is a form of love? That chaos is compatible with care? If the mother has created a stable, loving environment, should we undo that in the name of biology alone? Is it worth setting a precedent that undermines the role of stability, just to preserve a biological tie?
You and I both know, being a parent is more than sharing DNA. It’s about showing up with love, consistency, and selflessness. It’s about creating an environment where a child knows they are safe and free to grow. Biology may connect us, but it’s character that makes someone a parent. And I believe God honors those who protect the innocent and nurture peace. And He favors those that choose what is truly best for the next generation, even when it’s hard. There is always grace for those willing to change, but protecting the heart of a child must always come first.
Thoughts of the movie Mean Girls have also been coming to mind recently, and I’ve been reflecting on how it actually has a really powerful storyline. It’s an example of a broken system, where your value is based on your usefulness, your image, and how well you play by the rules. If you’re no longer useful or you step out of line, then you’re out. Cady starts out innocent but gets caught up in competing and trying to be seen, and along the way she loses herself. It’s only when she lays down her pride and chooses humility that healing begins. That’s what I love about Jesus. He doesn’t protect systems that use and exclude. He tears them down and makes space for restoration and real love.
God also brought the movie Atonement to my attention, which is based on the novel by Ian McEwan. It’s a sobering reminder of how dangerous assumptions can be, and how a single moment of misunderstanding can alter the course of someone’s life forever.
As I was tidying up the house, I came across the book Strega Nona, a classic children’s story a good friend had given us. It’s about a wise old woman with a magical pasta pot that only she knows how to control. And when she leaves town, her helper tries to use it himself. But he doesn’t pay attention to the full instructions and ends up flooding the whole village with endless pasta.
It reminded me how often we want blessings or results without the patience and humility that wisdom requires. Her helper didn’t mean harm, but his pride and disregard for instruction caused a mess. It’s similar to the behavior of Adam and Eve or even King Saul. This too. When we act outside of God’s timing or ignore His boundaries, the consequences can spill over into other people’s lives too. Obedience is God’s love language, which is why He says obedience is better than sacrifice in 1 Samuel 15:22. Wisdom can’t be rushed, and power without submission always leads to a mess.
After everything that’s happened, I cannot be yoked to a man who refuses to surrender his pride when needed and is unwilling to whole heartedly seek righteousness. When the house is burning down, love sometimes means walking out so that both hearts might have a chance to heal. I believe God gave husbands a sacred responsibility, which is to lead with humility and love. But He never gave darkness the right to lead me. I belong to the Lord, and I will not let anything (no spirit, no sin, no relationship) come between me and Him. As you know, I lived in sin for many years, but I now understand the weight of its consequences. And they are far too great to ignore. Jeremiah Johnson explains it well here.
I still care for you deeply, and I will keep praying for your heart to be set free. But I can no longer follow you into places God has not called me to go. My soul is not mine to give away. It’s His. And I know that I won’t go speechless anymore.
Do you want to be mine or do you want to be something to remember? The choice is yours. But it begins with doing the right thing — repenting before God and telling the truth. If you want to grow into a better man, the man God is calling you to be (for yourself and for us) then there’s still hope. With Jesus, we’ll be breaking free together. But even if you walk away, and even if no other man chooses to step up, I won’t be afraid. God is with us. He is our protector, our provider, and He will never fail us.
I was reading Acts the other day, and came across verse 2:17, which is one of my favorites. It’s an exciting reminder of what God intended. Religion has often tried to silence women. On the other hand, feminism sometimes swings so far that it dishonors men.
Neither is working, and it’s clear we need a new way forward. Jordan Peterson brought up some really good points in his analysis of Snow White here as well as in this video here. I also found a lot of value in this message from Mark Driscoll. Is it possible to honor both men and women without diminishing either? And what would that actually look like? Thinking about all of this while also reflecting on the famous quote from Dr. Seuss, “Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”
I came across this Angel Soft commercial that spoke about the balance between strength and softness, and I couldn’t help but laugh and also think how that mirrors the kind of heart we all should have. Both men and women need to find the right balance between the two.
To all the women of God out there, it’s time for us to come together, speak truth with boldness, walk in honor, and show the world the beauty of true submission (to God first, and to our husbands in love). There’s much more to unpack regarding this, and I have a lot of thoughts to share, but it’s getting late so I’ll save that for another day.
Before I go to sleep though, God just reminded me of Daniel and the lions’ den and this song came to mind. It’s a good lesson on how important it is to treat others the way we want to be treated.
And then I thought…what if miracles are still possible today? Praise God, they are! And the beautiful part is, we’re all invited to be walking free. Where would we be if it wasn’t for the love of God? Ain’t nobody love us like Jesus.
Oh my love, I know you got it in you. Things may not have gone the right way before, but I believe there’s a better you waiting to come through. When we keep our eyes on Him, the best days are still yet to come. I’m praying for you, and I believe with all my heart that the story isn’t over yet!
I love you.
Jeanie
P.S. And how could I almost forget to mention the most important thing of all? I’ve been wondering...who wants to be my king?
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” — Proverbs 3:5-6