Love,
Before I get into the rest of the letter, there’s something on my heart that’s not easy for me to share. Over some time now, I feel God has opened my eyes to some of the things that have happened, and it’s left me feeling really hurt. I truly believed you wanted the best for me and that I could trust you. Especially after all the love and support I’ve tried to give you throughout this situation (even though much of it came from your own choices). And it’s so painful to know you would go behind my back and work against me, when all I’ve ever longed for is honesty.
What makes it even harder is that from my perspective you haven’t had the courage to take responsibility for your actions. I don’t know exactly where this leaves us right now, but I do know I need time with God to heal and process everything. For now, I think the most important thing is that we both keep our eyes on the bigger picture. One thing this experience has shown me is that if we don’t take ownership of our lives, someone else will. And that’s not what God wants for us. We have to fight for His best.
I’m really grateful for the church we’ve been going to here, and the recent teachings have been especially meaningful. Last week our pastor shared from Acts 16 about Paul and Silas in prison, and it felt so timely. Later that evening, I was looking back over some notes I had written in my Bible. And next to verse 16, where it talks about the slave girl with the spirit of divination, I had written a note to myself earlier this year: be mindful of those who are being controlled or used by others, especially when money is involved. It reminded me just how relevant that still is. So many people get stuck in situations where they’re trapped by counterfeit spirits and not really free, but God’s heart is always to lead them out of that bondage and into His freedom.
And with the Holy Spirit, not only is it possible, but we truly have nothing to fear. Paul had the gift of discernment, and God opened his eyes to what was happening. On the surface the girl seemed like his biggest fan and supporter, but underneath the spirit controlling her had very different intentions. What’s interesting is that Paul wasn’t shaken or intimidated by her. He was simply irritated. Day after day, her presence was like a constant buzzing fly that wouldn’t go away. Until finally he had enough. He called on the name of Jesus with confidence, and the spirit was cast out. And what’s so comforting is that there was no fight to win, because the power of Christ made it leave instantly.
It’s encouraging to remember the words in James 5:16, “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” When we surrender our hearts to God and let His Spirit fill us, our prayers carry real power. Just speaking the name of Jesus is enough to break chains and bring down every power of darkness. What feels overwhelming to us doesn’t even stand a chance against His authority. Praise God!
As I thought more about the story, it struck me how significant it is that this girl was a slave, and her masters only cared about their profit. It’s such a reminder of why God calls us to pray even for our enemies. So often the people who come against us are themselves being controlled or manipulated (sometimes by powerful individuals pulling the strings, and other times by unseen spiritual forces). In many cases, they may not even fully realize what or why they’re doing what they do. Because at the root of it all is Satan, the one who seeks to enslave and deceive.
But Jesus came to set the captives free. And if we really want to see that happen, our prayers can’t just stop with those who are visibly oppressed. We also need to pray for those who are lost, trapped in darkness, and don’t even realize it. We need to pray that God would open their eyes, send them help, and bring them back in His arms. And we need to keep our focus on the real enemy — Satan. If we lose sight of that, he’ll keep using us as pawns to tear each other apart.
Our pastor also pointed out that moment when Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns in prison, and suddenly an earthquake shook the jail. Every door flew open and every chain fell off. As I reflected on that, I was reminded that God can even use nature itself to communicate and carry out His will. It’s so comforting to rest in the truth that the whole world is in His hands, and no matter the circumstance, He is always in control.
(Speaking of earthquakes, last night the boys were watching a video about the Golden Gate Bridge, and it reminded me of a documentary I had seen. It’s really good, and I think you’d enjoy it too.)
Something I was reflecting on a few days ago is how important it is to be cautious when people only ever say flattering things, or when they start treating us almost like we’re some kind of idol. It’s not always that their intentions are bad (sometimes they don’t even realize what they’re doing) but all glory still belongs to the Most High. Anything that shifts the focus away from Him and onto us can become dangerous for both sides.
In Paul’s story, the girl’s words sounded positive, but there was a spiritual agenda behind them. In the same way, when praise feels abnormal or excessive, it’s wise to pause and discern what’s really happening. Because those who are genuinely led by the Spirit won’t point to themselves or to others as the source of greatness. They will point to God. And the evidence will be seen not only in their words but in the fruit of the Spirit flowing from their lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Another thing I’ve been thinking about is how the people we can truly trust are the ones who love us enough to tell us the truth, even when it’s not what we want to hear. Their heart is to help us grow into who God created us to be and to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” Those are the kinds of friends and mentors we need close to us. We need people who care enough to challenge us for our good.
Of course, it also takes humility on our part to receive correction. Proverbs 12:1 puts it very plainly: “Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.” Though godly correction isn’t always easy to receive, it’s one of the greatest gifts. It builds us up, grounds us, and keeps us on the right path.
Our pastor also shared from 1 Peter 2:11–12, which says, “Beloved, I beg you as sojourners and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts which ware against the soul, having your conduct honorable among the Gentiles, that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may, by your good works which they observe, glorify God in the day of visitation.” And we sang this song at the end of the service, which was so powerful! This message from Jeremiah is powerful as well.
You know what’s crazy? As we were walking to the car after church, we suddenly looked up and saw about ten crows swarming and trying to attack an eagle. It was wild and felt like something straight out of a nature documentary!
On the way home from church, we stopped by a thrift store. I wanted to browse a little and see if they had anything fun for the boys. I ended up finding a really nice Chinese checkers board. Now I just need to track down some marbles, because I think it could be a fun game to play together. Since we all love doing puzzles, I also looked through their selection and found one with a beautiful blue horse on it. I made sure it wasn’t one of those puzzles with a thousand tiny pieces, so I think we’ll be able to put it together pretty quickly. And in their book section, I picked up a couple of good ones: a Native American story called Star Boy and another one called Bear Wants to Sing.
While I was looking through the puzzles, I wandered over to the game section and noticed they had Apples to Apples and Cards Against Humanity. I haven’t played either of those in a long time, but for some reason they really caught my attention.
The teaching a few weeks ago was really good as well, and I’ve been meaning to share it with you. It was framed around the question: How can I worship God when…(fill in the blank)? Our pastor reminded us that no matter what we face, God is always trustworthy. Faith doesn’t mean we have all the answers, and it often walks hand in hand with our doubts. But true faith is having confidence in God’s promises even when we can’t see them yet, just as Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”. It’s like holding in the present what He has already secured for the future. And that’s why we can choose to lift our worship to Him in every circumstance, trusting that He is faithful. Because worship shifts our perspective and anchors us in the hope that God always keeps His promises. And when I think of the heroes of faith in Hebrews 11 (the “Faith Hall of Fame”), I’m reminded that the same God who carried them is faithful to carry us to.
Later that day, my family was chatting in our group text about survivor football, which I had never heard of before. Apparently you just pick a team each week. If they win, then you get to stay in the game. But if they lose, you’re out for the rest of the season. My mom went with the Cowboys, and they ended up beating the Giants in overtime. She joked that the game nearly gave her heart palpitations! My dad picked the Vikings, and they unfortunately lost. But at least it means he can be there to encourage my mom and give her a little extra support.
While I was driving this week, I noticed the cutest sheep on a farm we passed. They had black faces with white wool, and I couldn’t help but think, “These are exactly the kind of sheep I’d love to have on my (for now, imaginary) land someday!” Lol. Later that night, I ended up spending way too much time researching sheep breeds. I’m pretty sure the ones we saw were Suffolk sheep, if you’re at all curious.
I’ve been wearing that vest I had the tailor make from the thrifted dress I found. It’s a really beautiful piece, and people keep complimenting it! I still have a few little tweaks in mind for it someday, but lately I’ve actually been more drawn to another thrift find I picked up a while back. I’ll add a picture below so you can see what I mean.
A photo of Hollywood crossed my feed the other day, and the palm trees along the road instantly reminded me of Palm Drive, my time at Stanford, and walking around the main quad. I have so many great memories from those days, and it’s always fun to look back. God willing, I’d love to find myself back in the Bay Area someday.
It also brought to mind Full Moon on the Quad. But after watching that video and reminiscing on my time there, it made me a bit ashamed to have even attended that event in the past. Especially after reading this. And looking back, it feels strange to think of that kind of thing happening right in front of Memorial Church. What once seemed playful or harmless has turned into something so different, and it’s sad how easily things like that become accepted as normal.
Continuing on that theme, the moon has been something the Lord keeps bringing to my attention. Just a couple of weeks ago while I was up late writing, I noticed the moon looked more red than usual. It was almost a blood-orange color. Seeing it brought to mind the Mid-Autumn Festival, which is a Chinese tradition that celebrates the harvest and the full moon. I believe it’s coming up quite soon. And speaking of moon festivals… Halloween is right around the corner too, though with a very different kind of vibe!
Which reminds me, I came across a couple of videos lately that really made me think about how much people are fascinated by magic and the supernatural. One was about the growing number of celebrities who are witches, and this video discusses why so many famous people seem to tie back to the same occult figure. I thought you might find them interesting. This one might be helpful too.
I also recently listened to Shane’s testimony from his time in the music industry, which really shed some light on this. Then I came across another Shayne who shared some powerful, eye-opening thoughts in his own story. As I listened to him talk about his healing journey, it reminded me of a testimony I once heard from an ex-witch who explained how demons can sometimes hide in people who are carrying deep emotional wounds.
The other day I got a notification on my phone that mentioned something called the Moonshot Factory. I don’t know much about it, but it really caught my attention and feels like it could be important. Would you please take some time to pray about it?
Last night I found an interesting video that mentioned how marine spirits are influencing coastal areas. I’m still processing it, but I do feel it’s something for us to pray about and ask God for His wisdom. And considering how connected we all are, it made me think even more about the ripple effects these things can have. Another video I came across dove into this further (the entire discussion was incredibly concerning, and especially the part about the homeless after I came across this video).
All of this reminds me how important it is to keep praying for God’s healing and protection. Because no matter how strong these tactics may seem, they are nothing compared to the power of our God!
Since we’ve moved, I’ve had swimming on my mind, and the other day while we were out running errands we happened to drive past the fitness center. I glanced through the window and spotted their pool. But it looked so small, maybe fifteen yards at most. I couldn’t help but wonder why I’d swim in a tiny rectangle of water when I live right next to the ocean. And the more I think about it, it’s really starting to feel like the ocean is calling me.
The thought of the waves and open sea brought to mind a video I saw the other day about orcas. And as I was reflecting on it, I felt quite sad. Orcas are such beautiful, intelligent, and powerful creatures. It’s no wonder people are so fascinated by them. But it’s heartbreaking that there are still some kept in captivity, merely used and trained to perform, all for the sake of profit. When you imagine years of being trapped, both mentally and physically, away from your natural state, it’s easy to see how that kind of frustration would build up. You long to be free, but you don’t know how. And that pent-up frustration eventually can come out in destructive ways. It’s tragic for everyone involved.
I can’t help but see the same thing playing out in society today. While many of us may not be physically held captive (though sadly some still are), so many are emotionally and spiritually bound by the culture and structures around us. And it feels like we’re reaching a boiling point. I sense people are worn down, and the frustration, resentment, and anger that have built up over time are becoming harder and harder to hold back.
The other day I was boiling water for coffee when the fire alarm suddenly started going off. It actually started saying FIRE, FIRE! There was no smoke or flame though, I guess it just got too hot and steamy in the bunk house. I immediately thought of God’s refining fire. Because it often goes unnoticed, and it doesn’t always look how we expect. But eventually, His warnings come in ways that can’t be ignored.
And I truly believe God is trying to warn us in this time. It’s so important that people begin telling the truth and stop hiding behind lies and cover-ups. It breaks my heart, because when greed, lust, jealousy, and deception are left unchecked, people and families are hurt. This cannot go on. God’s heart is always for repentance and restoration, but it’s only a matter of time before His justice will come. And we need to help people see that now is the time to come into the light, to turn back to Him, and to seek His mercy.
This feels especially true in how some people have responded to Charlie’s passing. It really worries me to see his death being used for selfish reasons, and my hope is that those doing so will choose to stop and be honest. God loves His children too much to let that kind of treatment go on forever. I know He wants to bring healing, not harm. And my prayer is that they turn to Him now, before the weight of those choices catches up with them. I wouldn’t want anyone to have to walk through that.
I don’t always keep up with the news, so I only recently learned about Melissa Hortman’s death back in June. It’s so heartbreaking, and honestly it felt like a lot to take in, especially with losing Charlie too. It really makes me worry about our country right now. There’s just so much loss and heartache everywhere, and it leaves me feeling an even stronger pull to pray for God’s mercy over our nation, and for people to turn back to Him in the middle of it all.
In seasons like this, people can feel especially vulnerable, and that’s often when the enemy tries to step in and take advantage. My prayer is that God would give us greater wisdom and discernment for recognizing truth and knowing who we can trust.
Charlie’s memorial service was incredibly moving, and it filled me with such hope for our country. The way Erika has walked through this season with such strength and grace is truly an inspiration to us all. And this is such an important time to be lifting her up in prayer. My hope is that God will surround her with loving, supportive people who can ease her burden and remind her she’s not alone in this.
I can’t help but think how powerful it would be if more gatherings like Charlie’s memorial happened all over the country. In many ways, this feels like a pivotal moment for us all to rise up and help lead our nation toward unity and truth. And above all, I pray we keep turning to the Lord for wisdom, for strategy, and for direction on how every resource and provision can be used to fulfill His purposes. The message in this video is so encouraging, and it’s something really important for all of us to take to heart.
Over the past few days, God led me to some videos that really opened my eyes to the reality of some of the darkness in our world. Would you please pray with me for wisdom on how to respond? This video on human trafficking. This one too. How an undercover FBI agent battled a demonic underworld. This message that speaks on the demonic spirit that murdered Charlie. A prophecy on what may be coming. And the tattoo technology that Bill Gates is apparently developing. I also found this video on child acting very concerning.
I’ve only seen a few headlines about the situation with Jimmy Kimmel, and while I don’t know the full story, it makes me really sad to see our country get to this point. My prayer is that we can return to a time where people feel free to speak their minds and, just as importantly, treat one another with respect and understanding.
Seeing all that’s happening right now makes me wonder if what we really need is to start something new that could bring our country back together. I’m not sure what that might look like yet, but I do know we should be seeking God for His direction. And more than anything, we must always remember what truly matters. Because at the end of the day, the most important thing is that everyone hears the name of Jesus and has the chance for their eyes and hearts to be opened to receive Him as the King of Kings. I know I’ll do everything in my power to make that possible.
A few days ago, while my mom was getting ready to host some guests for dinner, we were chatting and she shared a little trick she had learned from a friend. Her friend said she sets the table the night before, and it makes everything so much easier the day of. I thought that was such a simple yet wise idea, and it made me realize how small preparations can take a lot of stress off later.
Last week we went to the beach one morning and spotted this huge black ball that had washed up on the shore. I’m pretty sure it was just some kind of buoy, but from a distance it totally looked like a giant black pearl. Instantly my brain went to The Curse of the Black Pearl. It’s been well over a decade since I last watched that movie, so I had completely forgotten the storyline. I pulled up the trailer out of curiosity, and the moment I watched it I could sense God speaking to me through it. And then almost immediately, He reminded me of this teaching I’d heard last year.
Another film that came to mind the other day was one I remember watching in my high school Chinese class. It was Red Cliff, and I still remember being struck by how fascinating the war strategies were. Speaking of that, I saw this video today. I’m not sure how much of it is true, but it really left me feeling concerned. I think it’s so important that we keep LeBron James and his family in our prayers right now.
It’s been so interesting to see how God has been speaking to me through stories lately…scenes from movies, clips from TV shows, books, songs. And it’s such a testimony to God’s greatness, the way He takes even the enemy’s schemes and turns them into tools that reveal His truth. What’s even more amazing is that it’s exactly what I had been praying for earlier this year. God is so good!
For example, this week I watched a clip from Once Upon a Time, and He instantly reminded me of that interview on The Deep End. I was also reminded of the Goosebumps book series. And The Carpenter’s Son, which is scheduled to release this fall.
Have you ever heard of Lilith? I stumbled on it a while back, but I don’t know much about it. The Lord brought it to my attention again, and I watched a concept trailer the other day. I found it to be pretty frightening.
On the flip side, one evening the boys were watching The League of Incredible Vegetables, and I was reminded of this dream. It’s always so refreshing to come across stories that carry positive and encouraging messages.
These are some other stories that really stood out to me recently. I’d love for you to take them to the Lord to help discern what He might be communicating to us through them. Beastly. This scene from The Dark Knight. Minority Report, Blade Runner, and other stories by Philip K. Dick. I found this clip from Mad About You interesting for a few different reasons.
The Lord also brought a few people to my attention: Kathryn Krick, Chynna Phillps, and Candace Owens. Would you also pray about them and see what kind of support or prayers they might need?
I was at the park with our youngest today. He is so brave and confident, and he wanted to walk across this log that was a bit high all by himself. I kept trying to hold his hand and he would push it away, thinking he didn’t need me and saying, “No, I’ll do it! I’ll do it!”. He had no fear and when he got to the end just jumped off, because he knew I would catch him as he fell.
I’m sorry, Love. I wish more than anything that I could be close to you and that we could do this together everyday. And make a splash somewhere new, just the two of us. I don’t know exactly what God has planned yet, and I know this will be incredibly hard for both of us, but I have to go where He is calling.
Thank you in advance for your faithfulness and obedience. I truly can’t do this without you. I know this may feel like wild uncharted waters, but as long as we have each other, I’ll be the wind in your sails. And all of this feels a little bit better knowing you are out there somewhere, with me like a prayer. We sang this song at church last Sunday, and I couldn’t help but smile because it reminded me of you :)
Please fight for me and never let me go. I know you will try everything to find me. And one day we will see the light together. The past few days have been a bit heavy and emotional for me, and it would be a lie to say I’m not scared of the unknown. But I know God has us in His hands. He’s got the whole world in His hands.
I want to remind us how important it is not to lean on our own understanding, but to try to see things with spiritual eyes. I know it’s not always easy, but so often things aren’t as they first appear. I came across this video the other day, and it was a good reminder that with technology these days we need to be careful and discerning about what’s actually real. And we should remember that this isn’t really about us. It’s about God, His will, and His greater plan.
My hope is that if we keep God’s heart for saving souls in mind, it will help us stay strong while we wait. I truly believe God will bring everything together in His perfect timing. But in the meantime, let’s keep our eyes on Jesus, and lean on His strength for patience and endurance. He’s with us every step of the way.
I love you.
Jeanie
P.S. So as I cling to hope and trust in God’s plan for us…let the games begin. Please pray. And would you also seek the Lord about Ellen DeGeneres and Mary Kate Olsen? If He gives you any insights on how to pray for them, I’d be so grateful.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” — Proverbs 3:5-6